May 2013
grimelords:
everyone knows that falling asleep in the back seat as a kid and having your parents carry you inside is the coolest thing, but what many people don’t know is that cops have the same obligation if you fall asleep in their patrol car. exercise your rights, get a goodnight kiss from a cop.
fiercezucchini:
those feelings when you want a relationship
but you don’t
but you do
but you don’t
mowwwg:
“you can’t wear that!!!! people will get the wrong impression!!!”
the impression that i am a hot babe with an ass that just won’t quit???? honey that ain’t wrong that’s just fact
baby-pigeon-in-the-trench-coat:
spainstateofmind:
thebadwolf:
Fun party trick: put Skittles and M&M’s in the same bowl, wait for someone to grab a handful.
you can go fuck yourself
my mum did this and didnt tell anyone so when my sister put a bunch in her mouth she spat them out and started crying and now she has trust issues
friend: what are your plans for the weekend
me: who knows
me: (i know)
me: (i'm not leaving the house)
drarna:
the fact that axe handles are made of wood is the ultimate “fuck you” to trees
peevesies:
i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life
1 tag
peevesies:
i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life
